What To Look For
Intimate partner violence can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples. This can be physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former common-law partner, boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. The signs that someone is being abused are often difficult to see as much of the abusive actions and behaviours are done out of the view of others.
Here are some signs and symptoms that may indicate someone is being abused:
One partner facts:
Superior to the other
Often insults or puts the other down
Often accuses the other of flirting, lying, talking too loudly etc.
Seems fearful, nervous, unsure or passive when the other is present
Is always checking up, disapproving of the other’s friendships
Often apologizes or makes excuses for the other partner’s behaviours
Seems to take the blame for everything that goes wrong – e.g., getting lost on a drive, breaking something
Shows fear of conflict with others
Has frequent bruises and injuries
Has elaborate explanations for injuries
Seems to avoid work or school rather than explain how injuries occurred
Makes last-minute excuses for why s/he can’t meet you
Uses drugs or alcohol to cope
Signs of Immediate Danger
One partner facts:
Threatens self-harm or harm to his/her partner, children, pets or others
Forces his/her partner to have sexual intercourse
Has already hit or choked his/her partner
Has abused others in the past, including pets
Watches, follows, attempts to control his/her partner
Is depressed or experiencing major life changes – e.g., job change
Claims to fear for his/her life
Has just left the relationship or is planning to leave
Also:
One or both partners abuse drugs and/or alcohol
One or both partners have access to weapons
Ex-partners are engaged in a child custody battle
The couple is isolated either geographically or socially – e.g., live far from town, not in touch with family or friends, etc.