Aggressive behaviours directed at another person’s body such as pushing, pinching, squeezing, shaking, grabbing, biting, hitting, slapping, choking, kicking, throwing objects at or near partner, murder
More often overt than other forms of abuse
Behaviours are used to make the victim feel powerless and gain control
Forced participation in any type of sexual activity
Birth control sabotage or control over using birth control/protection
Forced into sex work
Infliction of emotional pain and suffering by doing things to control or degrade
Persistent verbal attacks on self-esteem
Repeated accusations of infidelity
Threats of suicide, threats to harm others, threats to take children
Not allowing access to basic needs
Ignoring partners feelings
Insulting or making fun of partner’s values, beliefs, religion, class, etc
Calling names, putting person down
Yelling at them constantly
Continually criticizing the person
Refusing to socialize with people important to their partner
Regularly threatening to leave or telling partner to leave
Making the other person feel bad about themselves; making them thinks they are crazy, playing mind games
Having no access to money
No control over how money is spent, what can be bought
No money for personal use
Not allowed to work or must give all earnings to the abuser
Misusing partner’s name for financial reasons
Assigning an allowance
All bank accounts are in abusers name; not allowed own personal bank account
Forced to sign documents against their will such as taxes, immigration papers, etc.
Controlling financial independence and freedom of the other person
Other Ways Abuse Can Happen:
Using intimidation to control the other person: Making them afraid by using looks, actions, gestures, smashing things, destroying their property, displaying weapons.
Using isolation: Controlling what they do, who they see, where they go, what they read, limiting outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions.
Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: Making light of the abuse and not taking the other persons concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn’t happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behaviours, victim blaming.
Abuse towards pets or property: Destruction of property or animals with the explicit or implicit threat that “she is next.”
Using children: Making them feel guilty about the children, using the children to keep the person there, using the children to relay messages, using visitations to harass the other person, threatening to take the children away.
Using coercion and threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to harm a person, threatening to leave, to commit suicide if they leave, to report her, making the other person do illegal things, making them drop charges.
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Kingston Interval House is situated on traditional Anishinaabe and Haudenosaunee territory. As settlers to Turtle Island, we’re grateful for the opportunity to live and work here and thank all of the generations of people who have taken care of this land for thousands of years.
Kingston Interval House
P.O. Box 21042
Kingston, ON K7L 5P5
There is a place where you can go.
Filled with women you may not know.
Scared with fear, quiet as a mouse.
This place is called Kingston Interval House.
When you pull up in front of the place.
Wipe those tears running down your face.
The doors open with a greeting smile.
You’ll start to calm down after a while.
Time will go by and the healing begin.
This is one battle your ex won’t win.
Take all the help that is offered you.
And hopefully one day you won’t be so blue.
There’s one special counselor, in her own way.
She will always help you in the right way.
A smile like an angel and a heart of gold.
When she was born they broke the mold.
My life would be better so wholesome and true.
I wish my mother was a lot like you.
I admire her beauty and she’s so smart.
That’s why she has a special place in my heart.
This house where I stay
is really nice,
A place where they help
and give advice,
For women to be free
from all the misery,
A lot to deal with every day
and hope everything good will come my way,
To God I pray every night
hoping all will be right.
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